Alright parents, we get it, you care about your kids. You care about your kids so much, you’ll let them wander the internet unattended and you’ll buy whatever game they tell you, even if that game is titled Decapitation Gore City: Sexy Hookers Edition. If we’re going to jump on the Ban Wagon, then we’d better not half-@$$ this. Grab all those R rated movies of yours and toss em. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

Done? Whaddya mean you refuse to do it?! Fine, it’s clear to me that you care more about Sharon Stone and Steven Segal than you do your own children. Fine, I’ve got a better idea. I’ll educate you. (Be me, I mean steal Telegraph’s tips and claim them as mine own with only a slight reference to them at the bottom of the list) It must be embarrassing to be taught by someone so much younger than yourself but life is a bitch. Alright, lets get started.

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